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Self sacrifice to store up value points with our lovers, kids etc and then used to control, manipulate and guilt them into doing what we want, creates hatred, rebellion, anger, mistrust and ill will. It's not love, it's usary. This comes from holding ourselves at a low value. It is the number one cause of "the nice guy/girl" syndrome and the failure to relate. Creating debts by self martyrdom is a number one victim move. Know your value, exchange only with those who will engage you in it, ie share and take responsibility for your own needs and clearly communicating those needs. Usary and debt have no place in a healthy relationship, if these are going on, then this relationship is being used as a security blanket and a defense against self responsibility. In these relationships, there are massive amounts of denial, guilt, snipping, anger, manipulation, abuse etc. This toxic environment breeds the "vampire" / victim cycle.
Self sacrifice to store up value points with our lovers, kids etc and then used to control, manipulate and guilt them into doing what we want, creates hatred, rebellion, anger, mistrust and ill will. It's not love, it's usary. This comes from holding ourselves at a low value. It is the number one cause of "the nice guy/girl" syndrome and the failure to relate. Creating debts by self martyrdom is a number one victim move. Know your value, exchange only with those who will engage you in it, ie share and take responsibility for your own needs and clearly communicating those needs. Usary and debt have no place in a healthy relationship, if these are going on, then this relationship is being used as a security blanket and a defense against self responsibility. In these relationships, there are massive amounts of denial, guilt, snipping, anger, manipulation, abuse etc. This toxic environment breeds the "vampire" / victim cycle.
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