Why do we seek love from what or those who will reject us? Why do we chase what does not rush to embrace us? How often do we seek acceptance and companionship with those who turn us down with excuses, brush offs, avoidance and snooty nose in the air rudeness? In reality what are we really seeking by doing this? Why do we believe we can get what we are seeking from such a blatantly bare cupboard source? And most importantly, why do we subject ourselves to such rejection?
For most of us this issue comes from a two fold perspective, attraction to blocks and the inability to understand the process. On one hand, tracing it back to our childhood, we most often times had someone we loved, adored and looked up to, a parent, friend etc who devalued us by the way they treated us or spoke to or about us. Often times we let this go unchallenged and for the mind, something that goes unchallenged is accepted as a truth ie you went along with it so therefore it must be what you want to experience. This sets us up for relationship's that are filled with rejection, bad treatment and even abuse, from minor to major. It gets especially hard when it spills over into our love relationships. Those with this background programming will seek out what attracts them but will consistently get repulsed by the very thing they seek out, now ask yourself why? Well for starters there's nothing wrong with seeking love but with this scenario going on, it's a clear indicator that your soul is drawing you to the source of the rejection through the attraction to it. Our soul draws us through attraction, to the very blocks we need to figure out and on the other side of those blocks is the very thing we really are seeking. So the challenge is to understand why our energy of love is not connecting to another. This is tied to value or worth. If we feel like we are being rejected by those who are 'better' then us in our eyes, then our soul is trying to tell us we are better then we think we are. If we feel like they devalue us for whatever reason, looks, manner, opinion, sex appeal, mind, strength, weakness etc we can instantly know that these are the very things we devalue about ourselves and simply because we have been given a message from another who also did not value this part of themselves. The truth is love accepts all as it is. It finds beauty everywhere, power even in peace, strength even in 'weakness', sex appeal in character and feeling, stimulation in opinion, expression in manner, depth below the superficial and it does not judge or reject for anyone or anything being unique in their expression of their own brand of love. So we are drawn to discovery, to lay our hands on that wall we bang our heads against, to speak to it, to know it, to gently take it down, brick by brick, with thankfulness for it's teachings of what we are not.
So you are attracted to rejection in an invitation to understand that this is not love, not you, this is painful and hurts you and does not connect you to the lover. The second problem simply deals with not understanding whats going on during this invitation and how to use it to free yourself to the love you seek. Tearing down this metaphorical wall allows the love to reciprocate, until then you must bear with the lesson the wall has to teach, once you understand, you will change.
So I will bare it all yet again lol, as I have been walking through this morass of rejection for many years myself. So as an example, I will demonstrate how this affected me. When I was a child, my father wanted a boy, my mother didn't want me period until later on in her pregnancy, this set the stage for the program. Already before birth I had a father who wanted my 'opposite' and a mother who didn't want me. As I grew up, my opinion was severely curbed and discouraged, the line being "well 'God' said so, who are you to question 'God'?" I was taught through this that I was lower then those in 'God' ie leader and elder positions. I was taught that my feelings, needs and desires were not important, that I had no say in my life or choices, I was to shut up, follow and agree. Translate that into subconscious symbolism and you have a person who is not 'worth' anything to anyone, who's needs are not considered and in that context they are rejected and not valued or returned.
It got so bad for me that it shut down my ability to communicate my worth at all, resulting in offering but no response. Stuck in a childlike phase of 'please love me mommy/daddy' it also colored any so called relationships I had by demanding I work extremely hard to prove my worth ie by pushing me into the mother/father role of giving but not receiving, offering but no return and others viewing me as a convenience to be used but not cherished. And sadly until yesterday, I did not fully grasp the entirety of what was happening even though I've been hammering away at this for most of my life.
The truth is this: we are valuable and worthy. We are acceptable and our needs, voice etc are invaluable to this world and others. First we must accept this, our light should not be hidden or thought less of, it has value because it lights up our soul and others hearts in the darkness of thinking we are alone. To often we shut away our light because of disappointments and rejections, feeling that if others don't value us then we are not of value at all. The truth cannot be farther from this! We must value ourselves, accept ourselves and choose wisely off of this knowledge. So next time or even this time, we are attracted to another, pause and ask yourself a few questions. How do I feel...and not just feel but pay attention to any feelings of 'not worthy' or 'they are so much better then me, please pick me though", if there's a sick knot in your stomach saying 'they aren't going to approve of me', then RED FLAG, stop. Go sort out your issues before approaching this person, only approach if after you understand why your feeling unworthy, you still feel attraction and re-evaluate how you feel about them. Often times the attraction is to the needed understanding and not the particular person. We almost always get real attraction and attraction to our problem mixed up, finding it hard to differentiate between the two.
So to differentiate: pay attention to the feelings of unworthiness, nausea, timidity and fear etc, or of synchronicity, peace, acceptance, joy and mutual sharing, these are a good indicator of why your being drawn to any particular person. When it comes down to a person feeling like a 'soul mate', these often are agreements we made before birth to work through these issues of worth and love, which we find almost irresistible, due to our need to address and fix our self view. Those who are not here to draw us into understanding are here to enjoy us and themselves, it is not a huge 'omg I have my work cut out for me' moment, it's an 'I can relax, trust, laugh, speak and enjoy the pleasure of their company'. Now go, remember back to your beginnings and find the roots of your brick wall, see it for what it is, then turn around and look at it's opposite, know there is no block to love or relating except in how you view yourself, how that energy broadcasts to others and how you both interpret that particular signal.
Attraction or attraction to our problem, wow!
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